Howdy y’all. It has been a while.
I have been tired, exhausted, drained… When I think about 2017, all I can think about is how tired I am. I don’t know what that says about me or my experience this year, but whatever.
I’ve actually been getting more and more tired lately. I’m not sure if it’s a physical health thing, a mental health thing, or just a product of the fact that I work over 50 hours a week at a high-stress job and it takes a lot of energy out of me. I’ve been playing phone tag with a doctor all week because I want to talk to someone about it. I’ve been attributing it to my worsening depression for a while but I’ve also been neglecting my physical health since college, so… it’s probably worth getting checked out. As long as I can remember to call the doctor before I go to work tomorrow.
I only have Saturdays and Sundays off this month, which sounds great in theory, but not when you’re trying to start Being an Adult and get in those dentist, optometrist, doctor appointments that you’ve been putting off for a very long time. I actually used my second and last floating holiday for this year so that I could take a day off and go to the doctor. I already have one appointment scheduled and I’m hoping to add one more.
Technically I could go to the doctor in the mornings before I have to be in for my shift at 3pm, but… I’m tired. Waking up is hard.
One step at a time, y’all.
Now that I’ve talked about how tired I am for 250+ words, I’ll move on to other things. Or at least try to.
Weight Watchers is going well. I haven’t been very good about tracking lately, but I’ve been typically sticking to the plan and I’ve lost about 25 pounds so far, which I’m happy about. I don’t feel or see any changes in my body but I can at least be encouraged by the fact that the number on the scale continues to shift downward.
Work itself has been a roller coaster. This past week alone we worked three major incidents, three days in a row, and I was taking calls for every one of them. I’ve found I’m pretty good at separating myself from the emotions of most of the calls; I’m able to do my job, collect the necessary information, and move on to the next call pretty easily. I guess I’m thankful for that, but there are still calls that bother me simply because we should be able to do more for the caller and we can’t. These calls are almost always mental health related, and I do my best on my end of the situation, but in the end I don’t think there are enough resources available for those suffering with mental illness. I feel angry and helpless for these callers and I wish there was more I could do. But despite feeling angry and helpless, I still have to let go of those calls and move on to the next one, and I’m just glad I can do that. Because this job pays the bills and I have to keep paying the bills.
Ryan’s job search is continuing. He has some promising leads that hopefully will pan out soon, a couple of which I think he’d really enjoy. I’m really hoping something works out for him soon. He deserves it (even though I know he loves staying home and making me snacks).
I’ve been getting back into my sociology roots lately which has been awesome. After graduating with my BA I was worried that I would lose my knowledge/education simply because I wasn’t actively using or studying it. Thankfully, sociology is a huge part of every day society and I haven’t lost it, but I’ve been reading some more of the “classics” like Marx and Durkheim lately. Changing my major to sociology is hands-down one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. More people should study sociology.
I’d like to close this post with a cute painting from an artist I have recently discovered and fallen in love with. I want to live here.